My Dear Sister
by snowfwake6
Summary: Azelma writes letters to her sister as she adjusts to her new life in America.
1. Chapter 1

My dear sister,

Nothing is fair. If things were fair you and Gavroche would be alive and I'd be dead. You were always much stronger than I was. In a fair world the strong survive, right? If things were fair we wouldn't be poor. If things were fair I wouldn't know what the sewers smelled like. If things were fair I wouldn't know how to properly escape from jail. If things were fair I wouldn't know what bakeries in Paris lock their doors at night. If things were fair I wouldn't be on a boat writing you this letter now.

My mother is dead. My brother is dead. You are dead. These are things I have to cope with everyday. I wish I was strong like you were. It has been almost a year since you went down to the barricade on the street and got yourself shot.

I hated you for it. I hated you for leaving me all alone. I needed you. I needed you and you left me along to wither like a dead leaf ready to fall off a tree. I still need you. I need you right now.

Things went downhill after you died. That July mother got Cholera and died that August. Father and I were left alone. I became his new go-to girl. We need someone to spy on this dangerous criminal. Azelma go do it. We need someone to walk 10 miles to deliver this letter. Azelma go do it.

It is sad to go on quests without you. When you were with me things were like an adventure. I remember when I was younger and we used to pretend like we were brave explorers and Paris was an undiscovered land full of mystery. I miss that. Now I just trudge along by myself. Sometimes I make fun by humming or seeing how far I could kick a pebble. Nothing is like it used to be.

Even father realized things needed to be changed. He got this crazy idea to go to America. He also got this crazy idea to get the money to go to America by bribing Marius Pontmercy. He took me to Marius and Cosette's wedding of all places. Of all places I'd never want to go, Marius and Cosette's wedding is towards the top of my list.

When we first got to the wedding, Father and I got separated. He went off to steal food or something, and I went to go tell Marius what I thought about him. I was very angry that day. Father had me wearing a horrid dress. I was slightly ill. I walked up to Marius and said exactly what I thought.

"I hate you. You killed my sister. She'd do anything for you and you never cared about her at all. She loved you. You are a selfish..."

Marius interrupted me. "Eponine saved my life. She saw the bullet coming at me and jumped in front of me. I am very grateful for her."

I glare at him. I am very good at expressing my emotions without talking. He goes to put his hand on me but I pull away.

"What do you want me to do?" Marius asked me.

"There is nothing you can do. She is dead."

Father caught up to me and started giving some pathetic speech that Marius didn't fall for, yet he still gave us enough money to get on this boat.

I don't know what I am going to do with this letter. Maybe I'll throw it overboard. Maybe I'll tie it to a bird and let it fly to you. I'll probably just put it in safe keeping for a while.

I think the main reason I was so mad after you died was that you never said goodbye. You knew were going to die, but you never said goodbye. It wasn't until the week before we left for America that I found the note you wrote me.

It was a short sweet note. It made me cry. I memorized every word to your note. I repeat it back to myself in mind when I'm trying to fall asleep.

You are gone. I understand that. But I believe in heaven and I believe you are an angel right now and can read this. I bet you are a beautiful angel.

I will never forget you.

Your sister, Azelma


	2. Chapter 2

My dear sister,

I am writing to you because I am lonely. Lonely and sick. Everyone on this boat is sick. The water is rough. The boat is rocking. Swaying.

Father said that the boat was going to Africa before it went to America. He wouldn't tell me why, but then again he never tells me anything. I just go with the flow, even if at times (like now) the flow makes you seasick. I find it is easier to just go through the motions. Never fight back.

Because we are going to Africa first, it is going to take us three months to get to America. It has only been two weeks and I already cannot stand it. I think I am going to go crazy. I think I already am crazy.

I want my old life back so bad. I want to go back to the way things used to be at the inn, or even in Paris. I want to be able to cry on your shoulder and not my hard lumpy pillow. I cry myself to sleep every night.

The evening after the battle I went down to see what happened. One of the first things I saw was the body of our little brother. Poor little boy, lost to the world at twelve years old. He always had such charisma. I was sure going to grow up to rule the country and do great things. Instead I saw him lying dead on a blood stained sidewalk.

I took off his little vest he always wore and hugged it. Then I kept walking until I found you. My sister. My best friend. It was the hardest thing to see in my life. I bit my lip until it bled, hoping to feel some of the pain you did. I took your hat off and hugged it with the vest. I smoothed your hair away from your face and tried to clean off some of the blood by licking my hand and rubbing your skin.

Then I saw Cosette coming and I ran off. When I came back later they had already taken away your body. You never had a funeral. I never saw you again.

I sleep with the vest and hat in my arms every night. One night I wasn't at home (I was running around in the night helping father with some convoluted plan to break Brujon out of prison and I ended up trying to fall asleep under an old tree). I didn't have the hat and vest with me. I could not fall asleep. I just lied in the darkness trying to count the stars. I counted 132, but I kept losing count and having to start early.

The vest and hat are like my security blankets. They help assure me that you are still here even when I can't see you. I will always know you are still here.

I will never stop loving you,

Your sister, Azelma


	3. Chapter 3

My Dear Sister,

Lorraine Maze. Father think it sounds American. I think it sounds dreadful. I can't even pronounce the r in Lorraine or the z in Maze. I don't see why I can't just be Azelma Thenardier in America. It's not like people there know about Father's gang connections in Paris.

He also told me that I need to know English by the time I get to America because no one will understand me if I don't. Father can speak English well. I only know a few words. All the crew of the ship is French, though. They are all tough and gruff. I am the only girl. The captain of the ship is named William. He is an American who was in France trying to find people to recruit for his business.

Up until yesterday I didn't know what William's "business" was. Yesterday we arrived at Africa. It was horrific. We got off the boat on the sand. It was very hot. "Stay at the boat," Father told me.

"What's happening?" I asked him.

"Don't worry about that."

"Please tell me," I said.

"We are collecting the people," he said.

"What people?" I asked.

"The people who are going to be slaves," he said. I didn't quite know what he meant and I was very curious. I did as I was told though and stuck by the boat. I found a stick at the edge of the water and started drawing pictures in the sand.

William walked up to me. "Lorraine. Make sure the bottom hatch is open," he told me.

"Yes," I said. I walked into the boat and opened the hatch. It had never seen it opened before. I looked down into the bottom of the boat. There was a large empty space. I was really confused to what was going on.

I walked back out of the boat. I saw a few crew members walk up dragging Africans behind them. They walked them into the boat and threw them in the bottom of the ship. Then more came. And then more. Father was dragging some of them. Some Africans where putting up a fight. Some cried and wailed. Others got dragged along willingly. They knew they had no chance against our men with guns.

One girl, about my age, reached out and touched my arm. She stared at me. She got dragged onto the boat with another little girl (her sister?) tugging at her arm. I wanted to help her but I had no idea how to. Her eyes were so big and helpless.

They all got packed into the bottom of the boat. The ones who were fighting back got chained to the wall. It was really scary seeing them all down there. They were all as confused as me. It gave me a strange sick feeling.

After hours of packing them in, William closed the hatch. I went to the small room on the boat that I share with Father. I sat on my bed and cried. I wasn't sure why I was crying because I wasn't sure what was happening. I knew it was terrible, though. I could hear people shouting and moaning from the bottom off the boat. Women and children.

Father came into the room. "What are you crying for?" He asked me.

"Those poor people. Why are they down there?" I asked.

"They are going to America to be sold to people as laborers," Father told me.

"You sell people?" I asked.

"Don't think like that," he said. "They aren't really people, you see."

I couldn't believe he said that. It made me really mad. I thought about the girl who touched my arm. She was definitely a person. I shook my head at Father.

Oh Eponine, I don't understand why it is a crime to steal an apple from a cart on the street, yet it isn't one to take hundreds of innocent people from their homes and cram them into a boat to be sold. Nothing is fair. I wish you were with me right now. I am scared. I am confused. If you were here with me you'd know exactly what to say. I don't want this to be my fate.

I hugged your hat tightly last night as I fell asleep listening to the crys of the people below me.

Stay with me forever,

Your sister, Azelma


	4. Chapter 4

My Dear Sister,

It has been a month since we left France and two weeks since we left Africa. Being the only girl, William and my Father make me do chores all the time. I'm fine with doing dishes and cleaning the crew's rooms. But I hate having to go down into the bottom of the boat for chores.

They make me go down there with food. One bucket of dry oats to feed 200 people. I slowly open the hatch. I can smell the fieces and death. I can barely breathe. One of the other crew members always has to go with me in case someone tries to escape. "Hello," I say quietly. "I have food."

I walk slowly and timidly through the boat. Another job I have is to count the bodies. Today there were 4. Yesterday there were 6. Many people are ill. It is hard to walk around. It is very crammed. The floor is disgusting. I try to move my way through with my food to feed everybody. I have to give everyone so little. They are all so skinny and weak. Two days ago I tripped over the body of a dead child. Some of the oats spilled out and people scrambled and fought each other trying to eat them off the floor.

Some people just give up. They refuse to eat because they want to starve themselves to death. When this happens whatever crew member was with me has to force the food down their throat. Everyone on this ship is so violent with the people. I think the people are nice to me because I'm not violent. I just walk down there with my bucket and try to give out the food fairly. They generally leave me alone. Generally. Once time a man grabbed the food from my hand and pushed me out of the way. Father was with me then and he got into a fight with the man. I was scared.

After I get up I have to tell William how many deaths. "Four," I say. "Two women, a man, and a little baby."

"Thank you Lorraine." I nod and go up on the deck. This boat is like taking every beggar in Saint Michel and sticking them in a tiny little room. I need air. I feel like a terrible person being here. I feel like I'm taking part in something absolutely awful. I feel like this is going to send me to hell. I don't want to go to hell because I know your in heaven and I want to be with you when I die.

I watch as they throw the bodies to the sharks. I cry as they throw over the baby. A woman had died giving birth to it a few days ago. "Azelma quit it and get used to it," Father says. I didn't realize he was even behind. He has a good way of showing up places.

"Sorry Papa," I say. He puts his hand on my shoulder for five seconds, then leaves. It is hard for me to tell how much Father actually cares about me. Sometimes he tries to console me. Last week he asked me why I sleep with a hat and vest.

"They are Ponine and Vroches I told him. This seemed to upset him. He didn't quite know what to say. He picked up the vest and stared at it. Then he did the same with the hat. I thought I almost saw him cry. "Don't lose these," he told me. Then he leFt.

Other times he yells at me. "Azelma your doing it wrong! Why would you do that Azelma?" And when we're around other people "Hurry up Lorraine! Stop whining Lorraine!"

I don't want that to be my name. I think I finally got the pronunciation right, even though Father thinks I still roll my r too much.

Father created a whole story for us. Father used to live in America in his youth but when he met mother he moved to France. I was their only child. Mother died five years ago from fever.

Everyone seems to buy this story. I hate it. I hate this ship. I can't go a second without hearing people below crying in pain. If the boat ride there is this awful, what will America be like. Father keeps talk I'm about a "better life", but if America is anything like this I'd rather spend the rest of my life as a beggar in Paris.

Please be my guardian angel,

Your sister, Azelma


	5. Chapter 5

My Dear Sister,

I never knew putting your feet on land could be such a glorious feeling. But after over two months on a boat I wanted to start running and dancing on the dock. I didn't, though. I just kept close to Father. Many people talked and shouted but I couldn't understand them. They spoke English fast and with thick American accents.

The air smelled fresh. I had become so accustomed to the smelling dead bodies, I had almost forgotten what real air felt like. We walked from the dock to a building. It was a small log building. We stood in a line behind other crew members. When it was our turn Father began talking to a man at a desk. I can't understand a word they say. I can see Father's face becoming more and more upset as he talks to the man. I desperately wanted to know what they were saying.

We're we not allowed into America? Would we have to go back? Father took me aside to talk to me. "I told you that we had bought a big farm to live in here," Father told me. He seemed mad. "But I guess there was a giant fire that destroyed the house where we were supposed to live."

"What are we going to do?" I asked. "Will we be homeless?"

Then William walked by. "Do you need a place to stay? There are plenty of guest rooms at my house in South Carolina."

"Oh, we couldn't impose," Father said

"It's really no trouble," William said.

"Well thank you we much appreciate it," Father said. Ever since we got here Father has been trying to spreak more properly and act more like a gentleman. It's strange, but also nice. He has been making an attempt to control his temper. I think he wants to turn his life around. I don't think selling people is the best way to do it though.

I am writing this letter from my new temporary home at William's house. It is the largest house I've ever been in. We arrived here this morning after a long wait at the dock while the unloaded the people and then a long carriage ride through the night. William is a large property owner. He owned a large cotton farm with many slaves.

William lived with his brother, John, and John's wife and son. When we arrived, John's wife answered the door. Her name is Berthe. She is a short, pudgy woman with rosy cheeks. She kind of reminded me of mother, but happier. She started talking to William in English but I only understood a few words of what she said (boat, early, you, ladies, breakfast, who).

William introduced us to her. He introduced me as Lorraine. He introduced Father as Gregory Maze.

Then Berthe yelled "Jack!" And a boy about my age came running into the room. He is John and Berthe's son. He talks to his mother in English and she talks to William and he talks to Father and soon everyone was speaking English to each other so I got up and looked around at the house. I had never seen one like it. It was very American. It was also very big. It was so much bigger than our house in Paris. The walls were pale yellow and it was bright inside.

After talking for a while, their maid showed us our bedrooms. First fathers, then mine. My room has a big window and a desk to write letters on. I have a bed and a wardrobe. The maid left me there so put my small bag of things on the bed and fell backwards onto it. I stared at the ceiling for an hour.

This whole thing doesn't seem real. The boat doesn't seem real and this house definitely doesn't. The people here don't seem real either. It is like part of me is back in France and another part is here. Back in France are my emotions and my ideas. Here is my body and my bitterness. Yet, I don't want to go back.

I realized, lying there, that it was the first time I'd ever slept in a room by myself. I've shared with you at the inn, with you mother and father in Paris, and with Father after you all left. And now I was by myself in the room. I could do whatever I wanted. So, I decided to write another letter to you. I want you to send me a sign that things are going to get better. Let me know that this is right.

I felt like I could lie there forever but there was a knock on the door and Berthe's son, Jack came it. He told me something in English. I stared at him with a blank stare. He repeated himself and I couldn't understand him. He started to become frustrated with me and left. Father came in later and told me Jack was trying to tell me it was lunchtime.

I need to learn English. I don't want to only be able to talk to Father. I wish you were here so I could talk to you.

I don't go a day without thinking about you,

Your sister, Azelma


	6. Chapter 6

My Dear Sister,

We've been here for a week. I am beginning to get used to it here. I am fairly invisible. I just go through the motions. I don't talk to anyone because I can't. I think they think I'm slow. I really don't want to be perceived that way, but there's really nothing I can do.

I liked to spend my time walking around the large plantation. I had never been to a place like this before, and I liked to take it all in. I liked to run my fingers through the tops of growing crops and lie in the grass and look at clouds. I remember when I was very small and we used to live in the inn. There was a park we used to go to, and you once told me that if you used your imagination you could see pictures in the clouds. I never could see them. You always had the better imagination.

Today I took a walk through the cotton fields. There were slaves working in them. They always start working faster when they see me as if I'll punish them or tell on them. I always feel bad for them. I think it's because I've experienced poverty, that I have a certain sympathy for the slaves that other people around Herr just don't seem to have.

Today on the field I saw someone that made me stop. She was a girl around my age wearing a dress similar to the ones Cosette used to wear when she lived with us. The girl had big brown eyes that you could see fear in. I recognized her almost immediately.

She was the girl I saw the day the Africans were being loaded onto the boat. She reached out and touched my arm. "Hello," I say. The girl seems afraid of me. She continued transferring weeds from a pile to a wheelbarrow. "I'm Azelma," I say. I pick up a handful of weeds and put them in the wheelbarrow.

The girl doesn't understand me. "I don't want to be here either," I say. I put in more weeds. The girl doesn't get why I'm helping her. "What's your name?" I say.

The girl doesn't speak French but she seemed to know what I meant. I wish I had . "Keeya," the girl says. She points to her sister. "Natta," she says.

I nod then reach into my dress pocket. I pull out a bread roll from that day's lunch and hand it to her. The girl timidly accepts it, then breaks it in half and gives the bigger half to her sister. "I was saving it until later, but you can have it. You are very skinny and look sick. Maybe I'll come back" I say. Then I run back to the house. Doing the wrong thing never felt so right before.

Tears flowed from my eyes as I ran back. They were warm tears. Warm tears happen when your crying for a bunch of different reasons at once and you don't know why. It rained that night. You once told me that rain was was angels crying. I wonder if you are crying and what for if you are.

Dry your eyes,

Your sister, Azelma


	7. Chapter 7

My Dear Sister,

English is very hard. To learn. I made a list of English words and phrases I know: the, a, and, it, hello, hi, how are you, what is your name, my name is Lorraine, I like, I don't like, please, thank you, good day, slave, boat, house, girl, boy, run, ship, stupid, and chicken.

That is 23. How can I live in a country where I only can say 23 things? Father isn't much help. He is gone most of the time. He makes money selling people to other people. I never go with him, so I just walk around by myself.

Today I was sitting on the fence that sections off the crops. It was very early, but I wanted to see the sun rise. The sun is much more beautiful here than in France. The sun rose. As I took my glare away from it, I could see a boy coming toward me. As he got closer I could tell it was Jack. Up until today, Jack had paid no attention to me at all. Then, as I sat there, he came up and sat beside me.

I look at him funny. "Hello," he said in English.

"Hello," I said. Then he said something back to me I couldn't understand. Then he said something about France. My ears perked up.

"Do you speak only French?" Jack asks me in French.

"Yes," I said. "Can you speak French?"

"I study French in school," Jack says.

"I don't know any English," I say.

"How old are you?" He asks.

"Seventeen," I say.

"So am I," He says. His French is choppy and a little off but I don't care. I am grateful that someone here can speak my language. I am especially grateful that someone my age knows my language. "What are you doing here?" Jack asks.

"Watching the sun rise," I told him. "It is very beautiful from here. I love all the colors."

"I don't understand," Jack says. "Can you talk slower?"

I had never been told I talk fast before. It made me mad in a way. "Watching the sun come up," I say slowly.

Jack nods. "My French is bad. I can't speak fast."

I nod at him. I didn't know what to say.

"So where in France are you from?" Jack asks.

"Paris," I say.

"I heard it is beautiful in Paris. Did you like it there?"

"No," I say.

"Do you like it here?" He asks.

"No," I say.

"Why?" He asks.

"I can't understand anyone," I say.

"You can understand me," Jack says. I frown at him. "I can teach you English if you'd like. And you can help me with my French in return."

"Alright," I say. He smiles at me and I smile back at him.

"I'll meet you here tomorrow afternoon," Jack says.

"Okay," I say.

"Goodbye Lorraine" he calls.

That's not my name, I say in my head. I just wave.

He runs back to the house. I begin to think English lessons were a bad idea. Jack seems nice, and he is very handsome. He seems like the type of boy it is easy to fall in love with. The day you died for Marius, I promised myself that I would never fall in love. I told myself that I would only get hurt.

I don't want to be hurt again,

Your sister, Azelma


	8. Chapter 8

My Dear Sister,

This morning was like most mornings. I early and went down to breakfast. I always took more food than I needed. I would eat with Berthe and Jack and sometimes Jack's Father, my Father, and William would be there. They weren't today.

After I finished my breakfast I would put the remainder of my food in my dress pocket and then go for a walk. Today I walked a biscuit and a piece of sausage. I walked through the field until I found Keeya. She was helping harvest the cotton. I reached into my dress and pulled out the food. I gave it to Keeya. She took a slow bite. I have been sneaking her food for the last month and she is still nervous to take it from me. After she ate a little less than half, she ran off. I knew she was going to give the rest of it to her sister.

Then I walked over to the patio of the house and sat down. I waited there until Jack came out. "Hello, Lorraine," he said. I am getting fairly used to being called that. He sat across from me on the table. He started talking to me in French. "Have you heard the news?" He asked.

"What news?" I asked.

"We are going to have a big party here at the end of the month," he said. "People from all around will be coming."

I smiled and pretended to be interested. "That's nice," I said.

"Oh, and yesterday at school I got chosen to take a test. Only a few people got chosen and I will compete with people from other schools for prize money," Jack told me. I wasn't surprised. Jack is very smart.

"That's great," I said. "Will you be tested on your French?"

"That's part of it," He said. "And I have an advantage. I bet I'm the only student there who uses French everyday."

"If you want my help studying, I will."

"That sounds great," He told me. "But now let's start with your English lesson."

"Alright," I said.

Today we spent the afternoon learning about food words. We went into the kitchen and he told me how to say all kinds of things. Some of the foods I had never even heard of. It was quite fun.

"This is a pear," Jack told me in English.

"Pear," I repeated. He tossed it to me. I didn't know whether he wanted me to eat it or not so I just held onto it.

"This is an apple," Jack told me.

"Apple," I repeated. He tossed it to me too. This went on until Berthe kicked us out of the kitchen. We decided to go outside for the rest of the day.

We walked around the plantation. He told me more food words in English: breakfast, lunch, dinner, to eat, to drink, vegetable, fruit, and other things like that. We walked until I saw Keeya by her little house. "I'll be right back," I told Jack.

I ran to Keeya. "Hello," I said. She repeated me. I handed her the pear that was still in my hand. "This is a pear," I said in English. I smiled because I knew the word. Keeya's sister came up to her. They spoke to each other in their native language then Keeya let her sister eat the pear.

I walked back over to Jack who was looking at me like I was absolutely insane. "She is my friend," I told him.

We started walking again. "You're friends with a slave?" He asked.

"Yes," I said. "What's wrong with that?"

"Your not allowed to do that. Do you know what would happen if my uncle or your father found out?"

"Are you going to tell on me?" I asked.

"No."

"Then it doesn't matter."

"Do you sneak her food everyday?" Jack asked.

"Yes," I said. "And a blanket and my old toy for her sister to play with."

I thought Jack would be mad about this but instead he just laughed. "Your funny Lorraine," he said.

"How so?"

"You are just the only girl I've ever met who would do something like that. Your very brave. I like you."

I stared at him because it was the first time in my life that I had ever been called brave. You were usually the brave one. I was always scared of my own shadow. It was also the first time a boy had told me he likes me and truely meant it. I didn't know what to say so I said exactly what I was thinking. "Lorraine is my English name. When we're alone you can call me by my real name if you would like. It's Azelma."

I'm slowly but surely getting used to this whole America thing. I am beginning to find my place here. I think one of the main reasons I help Keeya and her sister is because they remind me of you and I. She always takes care of her and looks out for her.

I know you are still looking out for me,

Your Sister, Azelma


	9. Chapter 9

My Dear Sister,

Yesterday night was almost asleep when I heard a knock at my door. I dismissed it as the wind and kept lying there. Then I heard it again. I got up. I had my night dress on and my hair was in a cap. I opened the door. There was Jack.

"What on earth are you doing here?" I asked. Jack was supposed to be on the other side of the state taking that test.

"I just got home," Jack told me.

"Okay, but why are you here?" I asked.

"I just wanted to thank you," Jack told me. "I scored the highest in French out of everyone there."

"Congratulations," I said, partly happy and partly annoyed that he couldn't have waited until the morning.

"What's that?" Jack asked me.

"What?" I asked.

"In your hand."

I looked down and realized I was still holding Gavroche's vest. I had been sleeping with it. "It's my brother's," I said.

"I didn't know you had a brother," Jack said.

"I have three," I said. "And a sister. But don't ask about them." It made me upset to talk about you and Gavroche, and our two little brothers that mother sold.

"Sorry," Jack said. "I didn't mean to..."

"I know. I just don't want to talk about my siblings. My brother is dead. This was his vest. I sleep with it sometimes."

We heard a noise. I peeked out the door to see Father coming down the hall. "You have to go," I told Jack. "Now."

"Alright, bye Azelma," he whispered and ran down to his room.

Father walked up to me and backed me into my wall. "Did he just call you Azelma?" He asked me with his teeth together. He was mad.

"No," I said timidly.

"You little liar, I heard him. What was he doing in your room?"

"He wasn't. He was in the hall. He was telling me that he did well on his test. That's all," I said.

"I could hear you talking. You were talking about a brother. You were telling him about Gavroche!" Father growled. He has a strange way of yelling at you without raising his voice. He grabbed the vest out of my hand. "I told you not to tell anyone about our life in Paris. Are you stupid? Do you know what could happen if people here found out about us? I don't care if you think that stupid boy is your friend you will not tell anyone."

"Please give me the vest back," I said, my lip quivering.

"You can't have it. You are a little sneak. You don't deserve this vest."

I started crying. "No you don't deserve it. Gavroche loved you. He loved you and you kicked him out onto the streets. You didn't even care."

"Shut up Lorraine."

"That's not my name!" I shouted. He smacked my cheek. I grabbed it in pain. "I thought you came here to try to change," I told him through tears. "But you're still the same nasty man that you were when we left Paris. And that's exactly how Gavroche and Eponine saw you as when they died!"

I squirmed from his grip and went back to my bed. Father left the room with the vest clutched in his hand. I wanted to scream. The words _I want my sister, I want my sister _played over and over again in my mind. I had never yelled at Father like that before. It made me sick to my stomach. I cried myself to sleep again.

This morning I woke up with Gavroche's vest draped over me like a blanket. I knew who put it there.

I want you to be here more than anything,

Your sister, Azelma


	10. Chapter 10

My Dear Sister,

Father decided I was untrustworthy and couldn't stay alone at the house anymore. He said I had to come to work with him. I'd never seen anything so heartbreaking as what I saw today.

Father took me by the arm and we walked into the carriage. "Today we are going to trade some of William's slaves who are weak and get better ones in return," Father told me.

"Trade them? Like jewelry?" I asked.

"Quiet Lorraine," Father told me. I knew this was going to be ones of those days when Father doesn't let you speak. We rode in silence for a while. I looked out the window as all the fields went by. America was such a big place. Much to big for me.

The carriage stopped at a large brick building. "Come, Lorraine," Father said. "This is really no place for you but you left me with no choice. Just stay quiet."

I was prepared to spend the afternoon invisible. I was prepared to sit in a corner alone and count floor boards and pimples until it was time to go. It started out that way too, but then something happened that made me leap from my chair and shout.

The building was packed with African slaves. I sat in a corner while Dad stood at the front of the room with the other traders. One by one different slave owners came up with their slaves and traded with other slave owners. They were all shouting in English. It was hard to figure out what was going on. These people looked angry and mean. I tried to go unnoticed.

Then I saw a familiar face in the crowd. Keeya. She had her sister wrapped under her arm. She looked terrified. I wanted to talk to her. I wish everyone in the world spoke the same language.

There was more shouting. I wanted to go home. It reminded me of being back on the ship. I kept my eyes fixated on Keeya. After a while it was William's turn to make his trade. He looked over his slaves and nodded. He grabbed the shoulder of a older woman, a little boy, and Keeya's sister.

He talked to another man in English. I think he said something like "I'll give you these three for that one."

The man seemed to agree with this and gave William a young man. Then he grabbed his trade and put them with the rest of his slaves. As he dragged away Keeya's sister, Keeya screamed. She knew what was happening. They were trading away her sister. She tried to grab her sister's arm but she got hit with a whip.

I couldn't take it. "Father they can't do that! They are sisters!" I shouted.

"Quiet Lorraine," Father snapped.

"No!" I said. I knew what it felt like to lose your sister. I didn't want that to happen to my friend. Keeya hollered. Her sister cried. I cried too. Life isn't fair. Nothing is fair.

William had two men drag away Keeya. "No!" I shouted. Father glared at me but then went about his job. I hate living in a world with so much terrible. Just when I think things are going okay, the terrible comes back.

I flashed back to the day I found you dead. I ran back to my house and cried. I broke a hole in the window of our apartment with my pillow. I picked up the glass and didn't care when I bled. Mother tried to console me but made everything utterly worse. I miss mother. It stung when she died. It stings now. The terrible makes a sting.

Things were less terrible with you,

Your Sister, Azelma


	11. Chapter 11

My Dear Sister,

After we got we came back from Father's "work", I ran off. As soon as I stepped out of the carriage I grabbed my bonnet and letter paper and ran. I ran until I reached a remote part of the plantation and found a quiet place under a tree. I sat with my head resting on my knees.

I stayed there until I felt a tap at my shoulder. "Lorraine, are you crying?" I looked up to see Jack.

"No," I said. "And you can call me Azelma. Father isn't here."

"I'm sorry for the other night," Jack said. "I didn't mean to get you in trouble."

"I know. It's fine," I said.

"Are you okay?" He knelt beside me. I looked into his eyes. He looked so concerned about me.

"They traded her away," I said.

"Who?"

"Keeya's sister," I said. "They pulled them apart. They were sisters. They separated them."

Jack pulled a loose strand of hair in my face behind my ear. "You're really upset about this," He said.

I sighed. "They reminded me of how me and my sister were," I said.

"Did you get separated from your sister?" Jack asked.

"She died," I said.

"What happened?" Jack asked, looking immediately sorry that he could have upsetted me. "You don't have to say," he added.

"She jumped in front of a bullet that was going to kill a man she loved," I started to get teary eyed. "She was brave. She dressed as a boy to join a rebellion in Paris. They were trying to change the world. They all died. Well all except for the boy she saved. He never loved her back."

"I'm sorry. I had no idea."

"My brother died in the same rebellion. He was such a strong little kid. He thought he was invincible. I miss them both so much. And my mother. She got sick a few months after they died. She could stand living anymore."

Jack looked so upset. He's lived his whole life in luxury. Everything has always been good for him.

"My sister wrote me a letter before she died. She stuck it in my dresser drawer. I only found it a week before I left for America. I have memorized every word of the letter. It said:

_My Dear Sister,_

_It kills me to know that I may never get a chance to speak to you again. I know that if I wake you I will wake Father, and he is still much too angry about the Rue Plummet incident. Also, I don't want you to see me like this. _

_I am going down to the barricade. I know you don't want me to, but I have to. I know it may be hard for you to understand. I hardly understand. What is the point of living if you have nothing to live for? I know this is a death sentence, but I must try. I would rather die fighting for the people then from poverty._

_I love you. Of everyone I know, you have been the one whose loved me back the same amount. I hope that this battle will make a difference so that when you are older you'll be able to have a happy life once again. _

_One of my favorite memories is the summer when I was seven and you were five and we climbed up to the top of a tall tree. We could see out for miles. You smiled at me and said "I never want this day to end." Sometimes I wish it never had ended and we were still little kids in a tree. We had no fears or worries. We were just small and innocent. I want that back._

_I want you to know that if I die tonight I will look out over you like we did from the tree. I will make sure you never break. I cried writing this. I cried thinking about what once was and what will never be._

_I will always live in your heart,_

_Your Sister,_ _Eponine _."

I sigh. Jack puts his hand on my shoulder. "I write her letters back sometimes. Actually I wrote one on the carriage ride home. I tell her about my life. I tell her how much I miss her."

"You seemed like you really loved each other," Jack said. "I've always wished to have a brother or sister."

"I sleep with my brother's vest and sister's hat every night," I said.

Jack held my hand. It was strange, yet comforting. "Thank you," I said. "I like having someone to talk to."

For the rest of the day he taught me some new English phrases. They are:

I love my sister

I miss her

My sister is an angel

I wish she was here

All of the phrases are true. I love and miss you. I know you are my Angel and I wish you could be here. I remember when we used to walk and it would rain. You would tell me not to worry about it because rain made the flowers grow.

The flowers are growing,

Your Sister, Azelma


	12. Chapter 12

My Dear Sister,

Keeya has been quiet lately. She refuses to take any of the food I try to give her. She does her work without looking at me. I try to talk to her and she doesn't even acknowledge me.

I reminds me of the time after you died and I stopped caring about everything. I would get into a weird trance and walk around Paris by myself. Nothing mattered. That's how I feel Keeya is. Nothing matters to her now. I want there to be something I can do.

They are throwing a large party here next week. Jack said that everyone in the town is going to be there. There will be music and dancing. Jack's mom, Berthe told me that I could go if we I had something to wear. We spend the afternoon searching the house for old dresses.

"How about this?" Berthe asked me. She pulled a beautiful blue dress out of her wardrobe.

"Pretty," I said. I felt proud to be able to answer her in English.

I stepped into the closet and tried it on. It is difficult to put on American dresses. They are layered and complex. All my dresses in France were thin and simple.

I stepped out of the closet with the blue dress on. I looked at myself in the large floor length mirror. It was the most beautiful dress I had ever had on. I felt royal.

"You like it?" Berthe asked.

"Love it," I replied.

"You're learning English, correct?" She asked me.

"Yes," I said. It took me a while to think of the right words to say. "Jack me teach," I said then corrected myself and said. "Jack teach me."

"Jack is teaching me," Berthe told me.

I nodded. "You need to be able to speak good English for my friends at the party," Berthe told me. I nodded again. She said more words I couldn't understand.

Then I heard someone in the hall. I walked out to see Jack. "Hello," I said.

He looked into the room to see if Berthe was listening. She wasn't.

"Hello, Azelma," he said. "You look really pretty." I smiled, embarrassed a bit. "How have you been?"

"Alright," I said. "Your mom lent me this dress for the party."

His voice got quieter. "How's Keeya?"

"Not good. She won't eat any of the food I try to give her. She used to share it with her sister. Now she doesn't want it at all."

"Is she eating at all?"

"A little, but not well. I don't want her to get sick," I said.

"It's sad," Jack said.

"I know," I said. I play with my slowly skirt. "I'm going to go change," I said.

"Okay," Jack said. I turned to go back into Berthe's room. Jack reached for my shoulder. He stopped me. "Wait," He said.

"What?" I asked.

"Do you want to be my date for the party?" Jack asked.

I paused. Date? I told myself I wouldn't do that. I promised myself I'd never fall in love with anyone. You were in love. You used to come home blushing every time you saw Marius. You'd do him favors and help him. You'd do anything for him. Even die. I tried to think about what I would do if a bullet was coming towards Jack. Would I jump in front?

Jack smiled at me. He has a amazing smile. He was so kind to me. He listens to me. He is teaching me English. I had to give an answer. "Yes," I said.

"Thank you," Jack said. I smiled then turned back to Berthe's room. I looked at myself in the tall mirror again. I smoothed down my skirt and twisted my hair. I felt guilty and joyful at the same time. I remembered one day a few years ago when You were in love. You had come home in tears. I don't remember exactly why but it had something to do with Marius. I hugged you and said "please don't cry." You couldn't stop. "Please don't cry Ponine. You don't need Marius. You are the most wonderful person I know. You don't need Marius. You can find someone else who appreciates you. I promise."

I apologize for broken promises,

Your Sister, Azelma


	13. Chapter 13

My Dear Sister,

This afternoon Jack came rushing into the dining room where I was sitting working on my English. He was very excited about something. "Lorraine," He whispered. "I have to talk to you."

I got up and we walled into the back sun room, away from people. It was one of my favorite rooms in the house. There were lots of windows and paintings on the wall. "What is it?" I asked Jack.

"My Mother took me with her to one of her friend's homes this afternoon. I saw Keeya's sister," Jack told me.

"What was she doing? Was she alright?" I asked.

"I saw her sweeping up after we had lunch on the patio," Jack said. "She recognized me. She tried to talk to me but she got taken away and hit."

"Was she hurt?"

"She was crying. She seemed very sad," Jack said. "I can see why this all upset you so much. I mean..."

"We have to reunite them," I interrupted.

"What?"

"How far away was the house? Was it far?"

"Not too far."

"Do you remember where it was?"

"Well, yes, but..."

"We have to reunite them. We have to!" I said.

"You can't just do that," Jack said. "There are laws against it..."

"I'm not afraid of going against the law."

"You don't understand. They'll catch them and bring them back and punish them. I've seen slaves that have tried to leave before. They get whipped."

"But she won't leave here forever. Just for a while," I say. "Just so that they can see each other again!"

"It will be impossible to do," Jack said. "We'll be seen."

"Not if we are tricky about it. My sister taught me how to be tricky. I knew how to get around things."

"You had it hard in Paris, didn't you?" Jack asked.

"It was horrible there. You had to be tricky if you wanted to survive. If you wanted something you had to figure out how to get it. We were very poor. It was hard for us. My brother was homeless and my sister and I spent half our lives on the streets." I wanted to tell him everything but I knew that I couldn't. If Father found out that I told him about his gang work he'd murder me. "I know we can do this. You have to trust me."

"You know, this is the first time I've seen you so exited about something. You really think we can pull this off?"

I tried to put myself into your mind. What would you do? "You said that everyone around will be at the party this Saturday?"

"Um, yes."

A smile comes over my face. "I have a plan," I say.

Cross your fingers for me,

Your Sister, Azelma


	14. Chapter 14

My Dear Sister,

I usually write you short letters but this letter has to be long because so much has happened since my last letter. Yesterday morning when I woke up, the house was bustling. All the maids here were busy preparing the house for the party. It was very grand.

The first thing I did when I woke up was go to the field to see Keeya. I met her by the Jack and I told her about our plan. It was hard to tell her because of the language barrier, but one thing I've learned from living here is that there is more than one way to communicate. I drew out the plan on my letter paper and showed it to her. She understood. She is very smart.

When I went to see her I handed her a black dress. I found it in Berthe's closet where my blue dress was. At that time my blue dress was lying on my bed alongside a black dress for me. Keeya took the dress from me. She smiled. She knew that tonight she would see her sister.

After seeing Keeya, I walked back to the house. I spent the afternoon helping get ready for the party. I made table centerpieces out of orange flowers. The party started at six o'clock. I watched from the top of the stairs as people from all over the area came to the party. I had my blue dress on over the black dress. The blue dress was big and puffy enough that you couldn't tell the small black dress was on underneath.

I walked down the stairs and out to the patio where Jack was waiting. "Hello," I said.

"Hi, Lorraine, how are you?" Jack asked. There were too many people around for him to call me Azelma.

"I'm fine. I'm also nervous. I hope everything goes okay," I said.

Jack nodded. "I know. But we can't do anything until it gets dark, so let's just go to the party."

"Yes," I said. "Just act normal. We'll speak in English and I'll try to blend in. We'll go at nightfall."

Jack agreed. He took my arm and we proceeded into the party. The last time I was at a party was Cosette and Marius' wedding. This party was very different. I was so angry at the wedding. I was in so much pain and despair. I felt so different today. I was exited today. Part of me was scared to death but the other part was thrilled to have come up with this plan. I didn't feel so alone today. I had Jack with me and Keeya out waiting for me.

There was a band at the party. They played music and Jack and I danced. I wasn't very graceful but Jack was an excellent dancer. He tried to show me how to do different dances that everyone here seemed to know but me. Well me and Father. Father stayed off to the side by himself and watched. I bet he was lonely without Mother. All of this change must have been very hard on him too. He just handled it differently than me.

It felt good dancing with Jack. I felt something that I had never felt before. His eyes sparkled. His hair fell perfectly into place. We danced until we realized the sun had gone down. "Jack, we must go," I said.

"Alright. You sure you want to do this?"

"Definitely," I said. Jack nodded and took my hand. We ran outside to the the stable. I pulled off my blue dress so just my black dress was on. Jack buttoned up his jacked so none of the white part showed. We had to make sure no one could see us.

"This party will probably go on well into the night," Jack said.

"And even when it's over no one will look for us. They'll just assume we went to sleep," I said.

We ran silently to the gate of the plantation where Keeya was waiting wearing her black dress. "Sister?" She asked in English. She had picked up on a few English words.

"Soon," Jack said. We left the plantation gates. In the night dressed in black we were practically invisible. We walked down the road in the darkness. It reminded me of when you and I used to run Father's errands, but this time I felt like I was doing good.

The three of us kept close together. The streets were empty. We tried to be as silent as possible. The road was rough and my feet hurt. It was farther away than we had thought. Then I heard something and stopped. "Carriage coming. Hide," I said.

We gathered behind a bush. "Don't make a sound," Jack said. I kept still and peered over the edge of the Bush at the passing carriage. The driver didn't see us, thankfully.

"Scared," Keeya said. Her eyes were wide and she was shaking.

"We'll get you to your sister soon," I said. I rose from behind the bush. Jack and Keeya followed me. We kept walking down the road. After about an hour of walking we reached a gate.

"This is the place," Jack said. He lifted the latch. From the gate another road led down to the plantation. "I'll go see whose home," Jack said. "I saw the couple that lives here at the party but you never know.

He began to walk down. I stayed with Keeya. I knew that soon she'd be able to see her sister. And though she can't stay here forever with her, at least they'd be able to see each other again. I wished I could have that with you.

About fifteen minutes later Jack came back panting. "The watchman is here. He's sitting outside the slave houses. He almost saw me."

"We must distract him," I say. "One of us has to make him see us and think we're a slave trying to escape."

"That's too dangerous," Jack said.

"What do you think we should do then?" I asked.

"I don't know," Jack said. "I guess I'll do the distraction."

"You sure?" I asked.

"If I get caught I'll be let off easy because they know me. Our families are friends." Jack said.

We walked towards where the slave house were. Jack ran off to where the watchman was. I watched from a hiding place with Keeya.

Jack made the grass russle as he ran into the crops. The watchmen shouted "Who's there? Show yourself!" Jack started running around in the tall crops and the watchman chased after him.

"Let's go," I told Keeya. We took each other's hands and went to the houses. We looked into the windows until we found one where her sister was sleeping. Keeya's face lit up with excitement. "Wait over there. I'll go get her," I said. Keeya understood and went over to where I told her.

I slowly opened the door and nestled Keeya's sister. Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled at the sight of me.

I grabbed her hand. She got up and we walked out of the tiny little house. We walked over to the tree where Keeya was standing. It was hidden from the houses. At first we couldn't see Keeya standing there. When the sisters finally saw each other they ran to each other.

Her sister jumped into Keeya's arms. They spoke to each other in their native language and Keeya started crying. I took a step away. They needed to be alone.

I looked as the watchman walked back to his seat grumbling angrily to himself. Jack walked up beside me. "I out ran him," Jack said.

"Look," I said. I pointed to Keeya and her sister. It was beautiful to watch them reunite. They were both so happy to see each other.

"We did the right thing, doing this," Jack said.

"We can't leave her here," I said. "We have to take her sister with us."

"It'll be really hard for us to hide her."

"It'll be harder to leave her here," I said. "I can't do it."

"Me neither," Jack said.

So the four of us started going back to our house. Jack held my hand, I held Keeya's and Keeya held her sister's. It was very dark. Her sister whimpered. "Shh Natta," Keeya said. Natta was about ten. The walk back was very hard for her.

When we were about halfway home, we ran into another problem. People were starting to leave the party and there were many carriages going down the street. We had to walk in the woods. It was quite frightening. I was glad I had my friends there. I squeezed Jack's hand.

By the time we got home it was very late and we were all exhausted. Keeya hugged her sister goodbye and went back to the slave houses. Jack and I took Natta into the stable where my blue dress was. Natta lied down on some hay and fell asleep. I covered her with a blanket so she couldn't be seen.

Then Jack and I went inside the house. He walked with me until we reached the stairs. The house was empty now. "We did it," I said.

"We can't hide her forever," Jack said.

"We'll figure it out as we go," I said. "We figured it out this far."

"You're amazing," Jack told me.

"So are you," I said.

"Good night, Azelma," Jack said. As I turned to go upstairs Jack leaned towards me and kissed my cheek. I smiled at him and ran upstairs. When I got into my room I squealed silently to myself. We did it. We did it. I fell backwards onto my bed and smiled. It was hard to remember a time when I was happier than I was now.

Jack was right. It will be hard to hide Natta here. It will be very hard. But something inside me knew I had to do it. I finally felt like I was important.

Keep sending me good luck,

Your Sister, Azelma


	15. Chapter 15

My Dear Sister,

It's been nearly a week since the party and no one has found Natta. We found a small area in the attic of the barn where old farm equipment was being stored. No one had any use for the space now. Jack and I brought blankets up there and other things to keep her occupied. Every day I bring her food.

We all try to visit her as much as possible, especially Keeya who took on extra work just so she could go to the barn everyday to feed horses. Whenever she would get any sort of break, she would go to the barn. Sometimes Jack and I would go as well. Jack has been giving all three of us English lessons lately.

I spend a lot of time with her in the mornings after I sneak her breakfast. She seems lonely up there alone. I try to talk to her as much as I can, but I know she can't understand me well. This morning when I gave her breakfast, I told her a story.

"Hello," I said when I delivered her my leftover biscuit and a handful of strawberries.

"Hello," She said. She knew what the word meant.

"How are you?" I asked her.

"I am well. And you?" She asked. Jack had taught her this a few days ago.

"I'm good," I I switched from English to French. "I brought you breakfast. It's not as much as yesterday but it's all I could do."

Natta ate her food and smiled up at me.

"You probably don't like it up here, do you?" I asked. "I don't blame you if you don't. It's pretty small. You know, I used to live in a small house. Actually it was an apartment. It was about this size but the ceiling was higher. There were four of us there. There used to be five, but my brother left."

She finished the food and handed me the cloth napkin I brought it up in. She seemed to like it when I talked so I kept talking.

"One time I had to live in a very small place. It was inside an elephant. It wasn't a real elephant, though. It was a statue of an elephant. My brother lived in there. One time my Dad was in a bad mood. He was having his gang members come in the evening. He told me and my sister to get lost. He didn't want us there. It was very cold. I didn't have winter clothes. Eponine and I walked together in the cold. We were hungry. We saw a baker shop and were about to steal bread when we heard a voice yell "HEY!". We thought it would be the police but when we turned around we saw my brother standing there with bread in his arms. He said "You can have this. If you are cold come to my home." He took us to the elephant where he lived. We spent the night there."

Natta appeared to be listening, though I doubt she understood.

"It's funny," I said. "My brother was the youngest, but he was the most independent of all of us. He was so smart. He always knew how to get things. He shouldn't have died. It was not his time to die. Everyone has a time to die. That was not his."

Natta saw that I was sad and hugged me. She spoke English to me. "No sad. Happy." She said. Jack had taught her that yesterday.

I smiled at her. "Happy," I said. I thought back to the last thing I said to Gavroche. It was a few weeks before the battle. I saw him by the river when I was running errands for Father. He saw me and called me over. He asked me what I was doing. I told him I was going to tell Brujon, Babet, and Claquesous to come see Father. Gavroche told me to watch out because there were police everywhere. I said I would and ran off. I wish I would have known that that was the last time I'd ever see my brother. I would have thanked him and told him I loved him. I would have told him that he is the bravest kid I knew and that I admired him so much for it.

Tell him this for me,

Your Sister, Azelma


	16. Chapter 16

My Dear Sister,

Father has been acting strange lately. Stranger than usual. Today he took me with him to the town to go shopping with him. It was my first time there. We rode in the carriage for a while until we came to the town. There were many shops there.

He helped me out of the carriage. "How do you like it here in America?" Father asked me. I thought it was strange that he was being friendly to me since he usually paid little attention to me.

"I like it here," I said. We walked through the streets.

"That's good, Lorraine," he said. I scowled when he called me Lorraine. "I've heard you speaking English. Are you learning well?"

"Yes," I said. "William's nephew is teaching me."

"You're pretty close to him, aren't you?" Father asked.

"He's my friend," I said. "He's been very kind to me."

"I saw you at the party together," Father said. My heart nearly stopped because for a second I thought he saw us sneaking to get Natta. Then I realized he was probably referring to the dancing and I relaxed a bit.

We walked into a shop. There were dresses there and other pretty things. "Do you like these dresses?" Father asked.

"They are beautiful," I said.

"Would you like one?" Father asked.

"You don't have to buy me a dress. My dress is fine," I said. The dress I had on was plain and grey. It was a bit dirty.

"Nonsense," Father said. "I said we were coming to America so we can have nice things." He told the lady behind the counter that he wanted to buy the green dress on the wall. He pulled a shiny coin out of his pocket and handed it to her. She handed him the dress. He handed it to me. I stared at him in shock.

"That you," I managed to mutter out. I could not understand for the life of me why Father would buy me this dress.

"Do you like it when I get you nice dresses?" Father asked.

"Y..yes," I said.

"Do you want to stay here so I can keep working so I can buy you nice dresses?" Father asked.

"Yes," I said.

"Well then you can never tell anyone about my work in France," Father said.

I gulped. Did Father know I told Jack about us? He had heard me talking to him that one time, but I had since convinced Father I told him nothing. "I would never do that," I said. "Why do you say that?"

"I think they're onto us," Father said.

"Who?"

"William and his family," Father said. "I think they are starting to become suspicious of us. You can't lead them on." He lowered his voice. "If they find out we've been hiding who we are we could be sent back to France. And you don't want that, do you? There are no pretty dresses like that back in France." He winked at me.

I looked down at the dress in my arms. I didn't want to go back to France. What would happen to Keeya and her sister if I left? What would happen to me? I imagined living in the Gorbeau tenement again. I thought about the icy draft and the hard floor where I slept so many hungry nights by your side. I imagined sleeping there alone.

Please Protect Me,

Your Sister, Azelma


	17. Chapter 17

My Dear Sister,

Today I was walking away from the barn after visiting Keeya's sister when I saw Jack coming towards me. "Azelma," he said. "I was looking for you."

"Hello Jack," I said. "What is it?"

"I have something to show you," Jack said.

"Is everything all right?" I asked.

"Everything's fine," Jack said. "I was just thinking… Have you ever been to Silver Lake?"

"No," I said.

"It's a lake down the road about a mile. It's really nice there. I was thinking we could do our English lesson there today," Jack said.

"What about Natta?" I asked. Taking care of her had become my main concern. I was spending more time keeping her safe then learning English lately.

"Keeya will watch her. We can give her some extra food," Jack said. I looked at him with a reluctant look on my face. "Come on, Azelma. You've been working so hard. You need some time away. The lake will be fun."

He smiled at me. I got the same feeling in my that I had when we were dancing at the party. "Alright," I whispered.

The carriage driver took us to the lake then left. The lake was beautiful. All the trees reflected down and the water was like glass. "It's pretty," I said.

Jack walked down some rocks and sat at the edge of the water. He gestured for we to follow. It was more difficult to climb rocks in my new dress than my old one. I nearly tripped, but caught myself and sat down beside Jack.

"It's really nice here, isn't it?" Jack said.

"Beautiful," I said. I slipped off my shoes and dipped them into the water. I hate wearing shoes all of the time. I never did in France.

"How's the water?" Jack asked.

"Warm," I said. "It's October, too. Is there winter here?"

"Yes," Jack said. "But it's not as cold as your winter."

"Does it snow?" I asked.

"It snowed a few years ago but it doesn't snow a lot. Did it snow a lot in France?"

"Yes," I said. "It was always cold."

"I wished it snowed more here. The time in snowed here it was so pretty," Jack said.

"The snow in Paris was grey and icy," I said. "But back when I was in Montfermeil, I remember the prettiest snowfalls ever."

"Did you live in Montfermeil when you were young?"

"Yes. I was ten years old when we moved to Paris. In Montfermeil I had beautiful things. I had so many dresses and dolls. We owned an inn. There were always people around singing and laughing. It was joyful then. But the economy in France was bad. We couldn't afford to keep the inn so we sold it. We packed up all of our things and went to Paris."

I splashed my foot around in the lake. I don't know why but I like talking to Jack about my life before America. I think that talking about it makes it so I don't have to keep thinking about it all of the time. After I talk about something I don't carry the burden of it so heavily anymore.

Not to mention that Jack was mesmerizing me to the point where I couldn't be quiet of I wanted to. Everything about him made me strangely giddy. The lake made his eyes sparkle even more.

"Can I ask you a question?" Jack asked me.

"Sure," I said.

"Why did you change your name before coming here?" Jack asked.

"Father said I had to," I said.

"Yeah, but why?" Jack asked.

I pulled my feet out of the water and adjusted myself so that I was sitting on my feet. "Father was trying to start anew for himself by coming here, so he needed a new name," I said. "And... between you and me, he had gotten himself into a bit of trouble with the law. He didn't want people here to look up his background and find that out about him. He's very paranoid about things like that."

"So he came here to run away from the law?" Jack asked.

"He came here to run away from everything," I said. I looked out onto the water. "Why do they call it Silver Lake?"

"Some people think that a long time ago there was a lady who came to this lake and went missing and all they could find of her was her silver coin. Other people just say because it's shiny and pure."

"It's very beautiful," I said. "The blue is so nice."

Jack smiled at me. "Like your eyes," he said.

I blushed bright red. "Thank you," I said softly.

"You're so beautiful, Azelma. I'm so glad you came here to live with us. I don't think you realize it but you've changed me so much. You've made me more caring and more of a risk taker," Jack said.

"And your French has gotten a lot better," I said.

"That too," Jack said. We were both blushing now.

"You've changed me too," I told him. "You were so nice to me when I first got here, even when I tried to brush you away. You taught me how to live here. I'm so grateful for that."

Jack put both of his hands on top of my hands and squeezed them. I stared at him lovingly. I couldn't believe what was happening. I was falling in love with Jack.

He leaned over towards me and whispered in my ear "I love you."

I barely knew what to do. I moved closer to him to tell him my response but before I could, Jack kissed me.

Not a little kiss on the cheek like before. A full on lip to lip kiss that seemed to last forever. And I wanted it to last forever. For those few seconds it seemed like the whole world revolved around us and none of my past troubles existed. It was just me and Jack at Silver Lake and he said he loved me. I now that I thought about it I had always loved him back. Everything about him I loved. As we kissed I felt like I could do no wrong.

It wasn't until we pulled away that I began to feel guilty. Why was I the one to get love? You were always the one who cared about getting love, yet here I was with Jack. I wanted so badly to love him back.

He looked at me as if he was awaiting my response. I didn't know what to say so I said "Let's start the English lesson now."

His face seemed a bit disappointed in my response so I moved closer to him and whispered back into his ear "I love you too."

Now I guess Jack didn't know what to say. "What should I teach you today in English?"

I didn't want what was happening to end so I said "I think we can wait a bit longer on the English lesson."

"I agree," Jack said. We kissed again. Twice we did. It made me feel so important. It was my moment and know one else's.

I knew we probably shouldn't be kissing. It went against all of what I believed about love, and how I shouldn't fall in love. It went against the promises I made to you and to myself. Not to mention that our parents would be quite angry if they found out.

I'm sorry, my sister, for the promises I have broken. I'm trying so hard to accept this as my new life and I'm starting to believe this includes Jack and I in love. I am trying so hard to untie the strings holding me to the past even though there is always something trying to prevent me from doing so.

Remember that no one will ever replace you in my heart,

Your Sister, Azelma


	18. Chapter 18

My Dear Sister,

I should have seen it coming. I was so stupid and oblivious. I am so mad at myself. I should have noticed how Jack and I were getting more distant after the day at Silver Lake. There was a weird vibe between us. It was kind of like he was trying to avoid me.

Then the unthinkable happened. This afternoon I was walking up to my bedroom. I was going to try to find my shawl for Natta. When I got to my room it was all torn apart. All the drawers were open and emptied onto the floor. The bedding was all over the place and the mattress was flipped up.

I saw my Father in the back of the room rummaging vigorously through a cabinet. "Father, what's going on?" I asked.

He stormed over to me. "You little bastard," he shouted at me and then he hit me so hard I fell to the floor on my knees.

It hurt very badly. "What did I do?" I asked. I tried to slowly get up but he smacked my back and knocked me back down.

I looked up at his scary face then down at his hands. I gasped. In his hands were all of the letters I wrote to you. "Did you read them?" I managed to squeak out. I knew this was the end. Father knew all about saving Keeya's sister. He knew all about Jack and I at Silver Lake. I threw up a bit in my mouth.

"Yes I read them," Father said. "And I don't appreciate you stealing a slave girl from the Bartholomew's and hiding her in the barn."

I cursed at myself in my head. How could I have been so dumb? I wrote down all my secrets! I should have thought this could happen.

Father raised his voice. "I also don't appreciate you telling Jack everything about France! There are reasons why I didn't want you to talk about it. William's been on my tail since we got here! He kept questioning my honor. I wondered how he knew some of the things he knew. I had no idea my idiot of a daughter was telling everything about our past to William's nephew!"

"Father... Please..."

"Shut up!" Father was screaming now. I was still on the ground in a ball. "I bet you thought that your beloved Jack would never tell anyone your little secrets. Well guess what. He told William everything!"

"But... He couldn't have..."

"You idiot of course he did! He never loved you. He was just using you."

"How do you know?"

"William told me. He said that Jack told him some 'interesting' things about me and that the police will be here tomorrow to check my papers and investigate me. I've been looking for those damn fake papers all afternoon! Instead I find a bunch of damn letters proving my daughter's a dirty little traitor!"

He smacked me again on the back. I cried really hard. How could Jack do that? How could he lie to me? How could I have been so stupid as to trust him? He must have been faking it the whole time. He never wanted to be my friend. He didn't care about me. All those hours spent learning English together. Lies. All those hours helping Keeya and her sister. Lies.

Father hit me again. My back stung. My eyes stung. I wanted to be in France right now in your arms so you can comfort me. He hit me again.

"Please stop," I whimpered. "I'm so sorry."

Father threw me up against the wall. "You've always been the stupid child. You never quite knew what to do without being told." He started to leave the room.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"The barn to see what's hiding there."

"Please no!" I said. "Don't send her back."

"How dare you tell me that after what you did!" Father growled. "And I'm not going to send her back. At least not yet. I may have thought of a way to use her towards my advantage."

"Wha-"

"None of your business! You'll probably tell Jack! Now stay up here and don't do anything." He crumpled up my letters to you and threw them at me. Then he stormed out muttering under his breath "stupid stupid girl."

I tried to straighten up my room. I put everything back in its drawers and fixed the bed. I can't stop crying. I want to leave here. I just want out. I sat on my bed smoothing out all the creases on your letters. _I want my sister. I want my sister._

I want my sister,

Your Sister, Azelma


	19. Chapter 19

My Dear Sister,

I spent all of yesterday in my room away from everyone. It wasn't until this morning when I finally decided to confront Jack.

I saw him walking down to breakfast this morning and stopped him by the stairs. "Jack," I said.

"Azelma, he said. "I didn't see you yesterday. Were you alright?"

"Don't talk to me," I told him.

"What is it?" He asked me.

"I don't appreciate you playing me for a fool," I said.

"Azelma, I didn't-"

"Don't call me Azelma," I said. "I trusted you. You lied to me. You told your uncle everything I told you. All this time." I continued walking down the stairs, away from him.

"It wasn't all this time. I never wanted to tell anyone. I never intended on it," Jack said. "My uncle kept hounding me because he knew I knew something."

"What did you tell him?" I asked. I tried to hold back tears. I hate crying.

"All I said is that I thought your Father was involved in crime in France and he changed his identity before coming here," Jack said.

"Well I hope you're proud of yourself," I said. "Thanks to you your uncle told my father he needed some identification paperwork and my father searched my room for it. You know what he found there? A bunch of letters I wrote. And you know what I wrote in those letters? Everything about Keeya and Natta!"

"I'm so sorry," He said.

"Thanks to you Father knows all about them and he has plans to hurt them somehow! And thanks to you I'm probably going to have to leave here. Maybe go back to France. I never should have trusted you."

"I know what I did was terrible. I'll try to reverse it."

"When did you tell him?"

"What?"

"When did you tell your uncle?" I asked. "Was it before or after you said you loved me?"

Jack took a deep breath. "My uncle asked me if I knew anything about your father and I said I thought he seemed suspicious and that you seemed to be hiding things. He told me to talk to you and find out more information." Jack took a deep breath. "That was the day before I took you to the lake."

My mouth dropped open. I couldn't believe he only took me to the lake to get information to use against me. "So it was all a lie?" I said quietly. My eyes burned from trying not to cry. "When you said you loved me?"

"No, I wasn't lying," Jack said. "I mean at first I was trying to get some information but then, I don't know, something changed. I really meant it when I said I loved you. The kiss was sincere. By the end of that day I completely forgot that I was there because of my uncle. All I cared about was you. Please believe me."

He reached his hand out for me to take it. I folded my hands under my arms. "I don't know who to believe anymore."

I walked away from him, arms still crossed. "I'm so sorry," Jack said as I walked away. My stomach began to hurt. Part of me knew that Jack was truly sorry. He didn't realize what telling William really did. I knew he really cared about Keeya and Natta and I knew he cared about me. He just couldn't go against William.

I wanted to completely forget about Jack. Part of me hated him and part of me loved him. I walked down the stairs to the front room. The vibe in the house was strange. None of the slave workers spoke, they just whispered and looked at me. I knew something was about to happen.

It happened this afternoon. I was in my room and Father came in. "Get downstairs now," He told me.

"Why?" I asked.

"The police are here," Father said.

I jumped up from the chair I was sitting on. "Don't tell them anything," Father said. "I know how to get us out of this." I nodded but I was skeptical. Father's plans rarely work.

We walked downstairs. William, Jack's parents, and about five police officers were standing in the living room.

"Gregory Maze," the police officer said. "Just the man I wanted to see." I stuck close to my Father. Jack wasn't there.

"Hello, officer," Father said.

"Sit, Gregory," the officer said. "We would like to talk to you for a bit."

"Alright," Father said. He sat on the couch and I sat next to him.

"Is that your daughter?" The officer said.

"Yes," Father said. "This is Lorraine."

"Hello, Lorraine," the officer said. "Can we ask you a few questions?"

I gulped. He wanted to talk to me. He knew I was weaker and less able to lie. I slowly nodded. "My English not good," I said.

"Just answer as best you can," the officer said.

"Okay," I said.

"Was your name Lorraine Maze in France?" The officer asked.

"Y-y-yes," I said.

"Where did you live?" He asked.

"Paris," I said.

"What did your Father do there? What was his job?"

I tried to think of what to say. My lying abilities are almost as horrible as my English. "An inn. We own it and live there also."

"Is this true?" the officer asked Father.

"Yes. We owned an inn in Paris. It was an honest business," Father said.

"You speak English better than your daughter. Why?"

"I used to live in the United States when I was a young boy," Father said. "I moved to France when I was twenty."

"Why did you come back here?" The officer asked.

"Well," Father switched into his sympathetic voice. "After my dear wife past away it was so hard on Lorraine and I. I couldn't stand watching my poor dear have to upkeep the inn alone, and every part of Paris just brought back so many memories of her. We could hardly bear it." He put his hand on his heart. In Paris this was my cue to fake cry. My family had it down to a science.

"I'm sorry to hear that," the officer said. "Now when you came here you had to have some paperwork proving who you were. I don't think we ever got a chance to look it over. May we see them?"

"Right here," Father said. He handed the officer the fake papers. I tapped my fingertips together nervously as he looked them over. "Is everything alright, officer?" Father asked.

The officer started speaking legal terms that I didn't understand in English. Jack never taught me any legal words about fake identities. The officer said something about how the papers he gave did not looked like the old papers they gave out, not the new ones. So according to the officer there was no way we could have arrived in America this year.

"Please, officer," Father said. "These are the papers they gave me.

"Can I see a birth certificate?" The officer asked.

Father rummaged through his papers and pulled out the fake birth certificates he had made. As the officer looked them over William spoke. "I don't mean to interrupt but my maid found these while cleaning Maze's room." He handed over a stack of birth certificates.

The officer took then and I peered over his arm to see what they were. I saw the words Thenardier written on them. It was all of my family's birth certificates. Father had kept them. I saw as the officer flipped past Father's and Mother's, then mine, then yours and Gavroche's. "Eponine's," I mouthed to Father.

"Shh," Father hissed.

"What are these?" The officer asked. "Who's Thenardier?"

"I don't know," Father said.

"Yes he does. He is Thenardier," William said. "His daughter told my nephew that her name is Azelma. He pointed to my birth certificate.

"Is this true?" The officer asked me.

"No," I said.

"She's lying," William said.

"Don't say that to Lorraine. I happen to know some secrets about you, William!" Father said.

"What secrets?" William asked.

"William is illegally taking slaves from people and hiding them. There is a slave girl in his barn right now that he stole from the Bartholomew's," Father said. I stared at him, mouth wide open. I couldn't believe he said that.

"He's a dirty liar!" William said.

"Check the barn if you don't believe me," Father said.

"Fine," William said. He, Jack's parents, the police officers, Father, and I walked outside to the barn.

I walked nervously behind Father. I was angry at him. I was angry at Jack. I knew everything was about to come crashing down. They were going to send Natta back and send Father and I to jail. I've been to jail once before only for two weeks and I never wanted to go back. I bit at my fingernails.

They walked into the barn. I knew there was nothing I could do to stop them. They looked around. Some of the policemen went up to the top section where Natta usually stayed. I wanted to do something. I wanted to stop them. Natta needed to hide but there was nowhere in the barn to hide.

I saw the police officers come down. "Anything?" One of the officers at the bottom level asked.

"Nothing," The officer said. "This barn is empty. There is no one here."

I couldn't believe it. Keeya and Natta were gone. I didn't know what happened or where they were. I ran away from the barn to my room. I couldn't stand to listen to my Father lie anymore, nor did I want to lie to him. I was mad at him. All I wanted to do what write you a letter.

It is sad when you think that the only person I can talk to is dead. I wish you were here. I also wish I knew where Keeya and Natta were. I wish Father would stop all these gimmicks. I wish I could trust Jack.

I wish you would help me right now in any way you can,

Your Sister, Azelma


End file.
